You are your own worst chicken
Overcoming Entrepreneurial Self-Sabotage: Reflect, Restart, and Avoid Your Momentum Killers Next Year
Hey there, Erin here! The theme of mindfulness this month is Reflect and Restart. This week, in honor of Taylor Swift ending her tour, I’d love to “sing” you a song: “It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me. At tea time, everybody agrees. I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror. It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero.”
One of my classes this semester had me watch a few different TEDtalks, which then led me down a path of watching other TEDtalks, because ya know - the algorithm (or was I going down a rabbit hole and was annoyed with my classes and avoided my real problems instead?) We will never know...
I came across Margaret Heffernan’s TEDtalk about the pecking order, I watched this one a few years ago and I couldn’t remember the whole thing so I decided to watch it again.
In her TEDtalk, she discussed a study by William Muir. In a study about productivity done by William Muir, he compared chicken productivity (egg production) by creating two groups. He took the "superchickens" (the highest producing chickens) and the average chickens. When he got to the end of the study he found that the "average" chickens ended up increasing their level of egg output, and the "superchickens" legit pecked the f*ck out of each other until there were only three (3) left.
Heffernan discussed (in people, not chickens) that more successful groups had empathy, equal timing, and diversity. Also by using helpfulness in your culture, community, and your own values, we can create success.
Also, to reupdate myself again on this TEDtalk and study, I learned that corporate organizations took Muir’s study about chickens (not f*cking people) too far and thought they shouldn’t put high performers together because of their impact on one another. 🙄
If those companies would have listened to her TEDtalk they would have heard her say,
"There was a lot at stake then, and there's a lot at stake now, and we won't solve our problems if we expect it to be solved by a few supermen or superwomen. Now we need everybody, because it is only when we accept that everybody has value that we will liberate the energy and imagination and momentum we need to create the best beyond measure."
Since I like to focus on mindfulness for the entrepreneur, I'm going to for once stay in my lane on that one…
I loved that this talked about leadership, competition, and ultimately inner work on ourselves. I don't know about you, but I learned a long time ago that I don't want to be in competition with anyone else, but I'm learning more and more that maybe I don't even want to be in competition with myself. So now I'm wondering is my inner saboteur pecking the absolute f*ck out of me in order to get ahead? Am I actually my own problem? The answer is yes, we usually are our own worst enemy. I’m going to finish this paragraph without a side salad of another song, because self-sabotage, duh.
If you were to ask me, “What’s something you are really good at?” I would most likely say, “Self-sabotage” or “Making self-deprecating jokes.” Cute, I know.
As much as I’ve gone to therapy, practiced mindfulness, meditated, journaled, and reflected on my life, I’ve made some really great habits of self-sabotaging too. And yes, I do have ADHD, anxiety, PTSD, and whatever other-mental-health-thing I haven’t been diagnosed with yet, but those aren’t what I’m talking about.
Yes, I use medication to help me focus or to have my heart not beat in my throat when I am feeling anxious, but again this isn’t the discussion…
What is self-sabotage?
Self-sabotage can be described as things people do, or don’t do, that block their own success or prevents themselves from accomplishing or achieving their goal. It’s something you do that could be intentional or, unfortunately, unintentionally. These also might not just be a behavior, but it could also be a mindset or a pattern of behaviors (like bad habits.)
This happens because there’s something off, what you need to do doesn’t match what you value, or you don’t see the purpose.
Common Drivers of Self Sabotage
Here are some of the “why’s” of self-sabotage:
Fear of success: Pressure of maintaining a high performance
Low self-esteem: Believing you’re not worthy of success
Avoidance of failure: Preferring stagnation over potential failure
Fearing the unknown: Anxiety about stepping into uncharted territory
Lack of purpose: Feeling disconnected from your goals or values
Recognize Self-Sabotaging Behaviors
After chatting with entrepreneurs and diving deep into this issue myself, here are some ways we (including me) self-sabotage ourselves as entrepreneurs:
Catastrophizing - as in this *thing* is the worst ever thing, and I’m done for. You’re assuming the worst possible outcome.
Busy work overload - Basically neglecting any big decisions or needs for your business because you need to clean the bathroom, do the bookkeeping, fold the studio towels, order more inventory, send those follow up emails, etc…You’re prioritizing the low-value tasks instead of high-impact activities.
Overcommittment - When was the last time you said NO?
Comparison and Self Judgement - Whether it’s via comparison of other entrepreneurs on social media or IRL, or even the “balance” thing from other moms who work. If you are always “SHOULD”-ing yourself, this might be you…
Working ALL of the time - Do you really need to? I get it, it’s so hard to turn off, but when was the last time you had fun and liked your job again? Failing to set boundaries leads to future burnout and disconnection from purpose.
Procrastination - Yup, don’t have to define that one.
Reality Inventory:
Ready for this Reality Inventory? Take an inventory of your self-sabotaging behaviors this week. Don’t know where to start?
Ask yourself questions like:
Do I tend to delay tasks, even when I know they have a deadline?
Am I constantly overplanning and not taking action on those plans?
Am I overcommitted on projects? When was the last time I told someone NO?
When things are going well, do I stir the pot, cause drama, or look for something bad to tip the scales? (ME, OMG NO.)
Do I regularly compare myself to others?
Who did I blame for the last setback?
Am I clear about what my future goals are?
Do you wait and get gas in the morning, knowing the morning will be an absolute sh*t show but you just think, “This time will be different?” (seems oddly specific…)
The biggest takeaway is you don’t need to do anything…YET. All you need to do right now is create awareness around your self-sabotaging behaviors. Regular self-reflection can help show you patterns. Journaling and/or meditation is a great place to start.
You don’t need another boulder to climb, hurdle to jump over, swamp to swim through, or metaphor to understand. You just need to see what’s right in front of you. It’s time to reflect and restart.
Conclusion: Reflect, Restart, and Thrive
By acknowledging and addressing self-sabotaging behaviors, we can remove obstacles to our success. As we transition into 2025, let’s commit to fostering self-compassion, setting realistic goals, and seeking the support necessary to thrive.
The road to overcoming self-sabotage isn’t about chickens or perfection; it’s about progress. By recognizing the habits and mindsets that hold us back, we can start to create space for growth, compassion, and purpose. Remember, you’re not in competition with anyone—not even yourself. Reflect, restart, and take it one step at a time. You are courageous, capable, and strong—always.