A Gratitude Hack For Entrepreneurs That Doesn’t Include Lobotomy
Gratitude on the Hardest Days: The 3 x 3 x 1 Rule for when life sucks.
Hey there, Erin here! This week’s blog is all about a way to actually create and use a gratitude practice. So no, I’m not going to tell you to sit in meditation for 1 hour, or do 32 downward-facing dogs, or even ask you to be grateful for your goldfish Ted. However, if you’ve been feeling like you’d be better off with a lobotomy than dealing with your life, this blog is for you!
There’s been a heaviness in the air. Anytime I turn around someone is going through SOMETHING, and it’s not just like *Another-Annoying-Software-Issue* thing, it’s like a BIG thing.
I talked about it the last week of October, and it’s a never-ending practice for me to not just wait for the other shoe to drop. Not only can gratitude get you out of the haunted house in your head, but it can also get you present on what you need to focus on right now.
Those really BIG SOMETHINGS that we are all going through create so many layers of stress. Seriously though, every time I feel like another layer of an onion gets peeled back, I cry.
You also probably know this feeling well, especially if you’re an entrepreneur… For instance, if you have a BIG LIFE thing happening, and then your client crosses a boundary, you have to fire a staff member, or you have no idea how you are going to make payroll. It’s like your brain needs to be split into three ways: Big Life Thing, The Business, and Everything Else. Since the only way to properly change things by splitting your brain open is through a lobotomy, I think it’s best if we just deal with whatever is going on.
When I asked female founders about their experience with stress and overwhelm, many of the women knew exactly how they acted and what they were like to be around. The consensus…not good 🤣. Many of them describe way out-of-character ways of reacting to others, a change in personality, having physical manifestations of stress, or just shutting down completely. Then, when I asked them if they practiced any sort of mindfulness techniques… I got a few of, “I tried meditating and yoga once, but it’s not for me.”
Here’s the thing, when you’re super stressed, like WAY STRESSED AF, that quiet meditation practice is going to feel like you’re sitting next to a leaf blower in the middle of a tornado.
YES, there are tons of scientific studies that showcase the impact of yoga and meditation on the brain, body, stress, anxiety, decision-making, and so much more. But like, you aren’t going to be able to sit quietly in mediation for even 5 minutes if you’ve never done it before. It would be like trying to run a 5K if you’ve never run before. You gotta build up to it.
Reshma Saujani, the founder of Girls Who Code, says, “It’s hard to be grateful when life feels like it’s falling apart, but those little thank-you notes to yourself and others remind you that even in the chaos, there’s good.”
Listen to her podcasts here.
If you’ve been wanting to start a gratitude journal, a gratitude practice, or just do one thing for yourself today, the 3 x 3 x 1 Gratitude Rule is the kickstart you need to go from couch to 5K.
Reality Inventory: The 3 x 3 x 1 Rule to Deepen Your Gratitude Practice
If you’re looking for a gratitude practice that actually works, this is it. It’s quick, it’s grounding, and it will work on your worst days. Here’s how it works:
Write down 3 things you’re grateful for
Acknowledge 3 things you did well
Set 1 intention for tomorrow
Let’s break this down.
Write Down 3 Things You’re Grateful For & Be Specific
No bullsh*t, no fluff, just be grateful for whatever specific stuff you want. I know you are thankful for your dog/cat/kid/bird/lizard/leafblower, you know that too. Write something down that might be somewhat unexpected or actually got you to have a moment of light that was in your day, just be specific.
Examples:
Starbucks spelling your name right.
The funny meme you shared with four of your friends
Your meeting getting canceled and you didn’t have to talk to (INSERT NAME, who is the MOST annoying)
Why specificity matters: Neuroscientific research suggests that detailed gratitude is stickier in the brain. It’s not just “I’m thankful for coffee,” but “I’m thankful for the perfect foam heart on my latte.” These small moments of joy accumulate into a sense of abundance.
Acknowledge 3 Things You Did Well
We as entrepreneurs are our worst customers and harshest critics, however we also tend to recognize our own efforts that we put into things. So do that next, write down your little wins for the day.
Examples:
Finally sitting down to write that email you’ve been putting off and pushing SEND.
You showed up and did that thing (insert going to the gym, your kid’s basketball game, took your dog on a walk, or finally had that conversation you’ve been putting off.)
You didn’t yell at Jeff when he said some dumb sh*t in your meeting, you handled it with grace and the meeting was ulitmatly effective.
Research in positive psychology shows that celebrating small wins rewires your brain for resilience. When you acknowledge what you did, you’re reminding yourself of your capability and power.
Set Your Intention for Tomorrow
This isn’t your “to-do” list, it’s the focus you want to create or the way you want to show up for yourself. Set the tone for your day with intentions like:
“I will speak with integrity.”
“Be curious, not judgemental.” - That’s a lil’ one from Ted Lasso if you’re familiar.
“I will give others my full attention.”
Setting intentions creates a mental framework for the day ahead. It shifts the focus from hustling through tasks to living with purpose.
How the 3x3x1 Rule Transformed and Inspired Me
What’s interesting about this framework is that it’s how my book, The Possibility Project, got started. I kept trying little test lists like “I will do these 3 things today…,” “3 Things I’m grateful for,” and “3 ways I took care of myself.” Writing these down made a huge impact on my mental health, and still does.
The hardest part, for me, about this practice is the consistency. It’s easy to keep going then one day BAM, habit done. Then, there’s always an uphill battle to create the habit again, but the work is worth it.
Gratitude isn’t about ignoring life’s difficulties or pretending everything is fine. It’s about training your brain to see the flickers of light, even in the dark. By doing this regularly, you develop a resilience that extends far beyond the gratitude journal.
So, the next time the day feels like a dumpster fire, try the 3 x 3 x 1 Gratitude Rule:
Three things you’re grateful for.
Three things you did well.
One intention for tomorrow.
Gratitude doesn’t erase the hard stuff, but it does remind us that even in the struggle, we’re courageous, capable, and strong.